


All That Bird Talk

by gleekto



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-25 04:28:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10756716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gleekto/pseuds/gleekto
Summary: Blaine and Kurt growing up in conversations about sex.  Canon compliant from early!klaine right through to our American Boys hanging out in their loft.





	1. Five Times Blaine Anderson Talks About Sex

**All That Bird Talk**

1.

Blaine is pretty sure he knows how to talk about sex. He just hasn’t really had the opportunity yet.

Despite wishing the world could just get the whole gay thing, and despite having a moment of drunken confusion, Blaine has always been proud. He likes boys and if his friends and his school and his health class weren’t going to talk to him about it, then he was going to educate himself. Yes, there were _those_ websites. But there were also some websites that were factual, informative and all around great resources - Planned Parenthood had a teen sex info website, the lgbt youth line website had a myths and reality page all about sex. And Blaine had read them all. Twenty-three times.

He knows that penetration isn’t the only part of sex. He knows that you need to squeeze the tip of a condom before you put one on. He knows that most teenage boys masturbate frequently (obviously). He knows that some guys have sensitive nipples and some don’t, that you should cover your teeth to give a blowjob, and that lots of lubricant should be used before trying ‘anal play’ for the first time. Blaine is proud and knowledgeable and comfortable. 

All of those websites also tell you to talk to your partner about sex. Good sex is all about communication, the banners say. The thing is, though, that none of the sites say anything about how it might be _slightly_ more difficult to try to talk to your actual real life seventeen year old boyfriend about sex, rather than say, your best girl friend.

The first time Blaine tried, it was a disaster. And that was before they were even together and he was still in denial-ville (Kurt came up with that one. Pretty accurate). And well, maybe that was because he was trying to be the suave mentor - but he _does_ know about sex. He does. And he just wanted to be able to talk to Kurt about it. They never really tried again after that failed attempt in Kurt’s bedroom, but Kurt did grumble about his dad having given him ‘The Talk’ and some pamphlets that definitely did not think that the touch of the fingertips was as sexy as it gets. They were on the phone and Blaine had flushed bright red because he knew he had been the catalyst. He thinks he managed a quick squeak of ‘That’s good’, before they moved on to whether the Warblers should do P!nk or Maroon 5 for Regionals.

And then they kissed. And kissing Kurt is pretty much the sexiest, most intimate and amazing thing that Blaine has ever experienced. He thinks about it all the time. So much so that he tries to hide it and not just kiss Kurt every chance he gets. He suggests they do their homework, or look at sheet music, or discuss the queer symbolism in the Wizard of Oz (which they just watched for the fifth time), all as a way to show that he is a gentleman. That he likes Kurt for all of him, not just for kissing. But the truth is that he just always wants to be kissing Kurt. _Because_ he likes Kurt for all of him. It’s a double edged sword.

Luckily - and he knows that he is so so lucky - Kurt seems to always want to be kissing him too. In fact, when he suggests that they do their math homework, Kurt is the one who asks if they can take a break after three questions, cheeks red and voice breathy, and really Blaine can’t believe that his boyfriend is this adorable. And they definitely take that break.

The thing is about being educated about sex is that Blaine also knows that he’s not ready to have it yet. But he knows that he will be one day. With Kurt. Because that is definitely how he feels about Kurt. They are only just getting really comfortable with serious making out. But he still thinks they should talk about it - they’re boyfriends after all.

One particularly leisurely weekend afternoon before Kurt goes to New York for nationals, and they haven’t seen each other all week, and the loom of Kurt leaving for four days is hanging over head, the making out gets really, really good. They’re lying on Blaine’s bed, frantic and eager and happy, and kissing and kissing. Their hands are all over each other’s faces and lips and hair, as their bodies move closer on the bed.  Which is when Kurt, in either an accident or a moment of boldness - Blaine isn’t entirely sure which one, Kurt never does what he expects - intertwines their legs, climbing slightly on top of him. Blaine moans because there is pressure and he is hard and there is friction and so much Kurt.  Kurt is hard too  - he feels it on his thigh. His heart starts racing and his blood is rushing, and Kurt seems to let himself go, letting his weight down on Blaine.  Kurt moans and he sounds incredible. Lips and hands and dicks and Blaine is swimming and he can’t help it, he blurts out “I think we should talk about sex.” 

Kurt freezes from where he was previously creating a glorious mark on Blaine’s neck.

Moment lost. _God._ Blaine closes his eyes, slightly berating himself. He feels Kurt shuffle and he opens his eyes. Kurt’s hands are on either side of his head flat on the bed, he's looking down at him in a push up-like position, and his eyes are twinkling. “Okay,” Kurt nods, “What would you like to talk about?”

Okay. This is new. A green light. Not just a green light but a green light with a hint of flirtation.  “Well, um, for one,” Blaine blushes, “This is really, really nice.”

“Yeah,” Kurt breathes as he lets his body go limp next to Blaine’s, head resting on his chest. “It is.”

“So,” Blaine turns onto his side, propping his head on his hand and clearing his throat, “I want to do lots more of this,” He looks Kurt in the eyes and gently traces his fingers along Kurt’s arm. Kurt gets goosebumps.

“Me too,” Kurt hums, distracted.

“But I’m not ready to actually have sex yet.”

“You’re _not_?”

“No. Wait - _You are_?”

“No, no, not at all. I guess I’m just surprised,” Kurt’s listening now.

“Good surprised or bad surprised?”

“Good surprised. Definitely good. I mean it’s okay if you were ready, but I don’t know-”

“We’re on the same page?” Blaine finishes and Kurt hums in affirmation. “You know, not too long ago, you kicked me out of your room for bringing up the s-word. Touch of the fingertips?” Blaine walks his fingers up Kurt’s arm from his wrist to his shoulder. 

“Oh god.”

“Well holding hands _can_ be very sexy,” Blaine reassures.

“Oh my god, shut up. It’s changed, okay? It’s not exactly easy to be open minded when your long time crush is trying to school your total lack of sex appeal by talking so confidently about all his previous escapades. I may or may not have been slightly defensive,” Kurt huffs.

“You could never have a total lack of sex appeal,” Blaine flirts and waggles his eyebrows.

“Oh my god, shut up,” Kurt shakes his head.

“And I don’t have any previous escapades,” Blaine shrugs, “Just me and my computer.”

“Yes, well. I know that now.”

“I want it to be you,” Blaine is serious again, “I want to have all kinds of sex with you when we’re ready,” Blaine says earnestly enough that Kurt bites back his instinctive sarcasm. “And not just _that_ kind. I want to learn everything about what you like and try it and see if we like it together-”

“Oh god, you’ve been reading those pamphlets too, haven’t you?”

“Maybe,” Blaine shrugs his shoulders and blushes which doesn’t make any sense but he does. 

“Well,” Kurt shimmies over so their bodies are flush, “I really liked what we were doing before.” Kurt’s breath is in his ear and his voice is so flirty and high and beautiful and god Blaine cannot believe he tried to teach Kurt ‘sultry’ because he is clearly the natural master.

“Yeah,” Blaine gulps as their bodies align, “Me too. So for now we keep our hands ummm-” 

“North of the Equator?” Kurt offers smugly.

“North of the Equator,” Blaine agrees. Then they’re kissing again. It’s as frenzied and eager as before but somehow this time Blaine knows that it is no accident when Kurt intertwines their legs and moves confidently against Blaine’s thigh. Everything feels so good - Kurt’s lips, his teeth, his strong hands, his amazing long legs , and he’s hard and Blaine’s hard and the visual of how hot it all is is really making this situation seriously dangerous. He pulls back and groans in frustration. Kurt looks at him and he laughs high and wicked. Kurt has him.

And wrapped around Kurt’s little finger or body, there is simply no place he’d rather be.

2.

They’ve been having sex for almost three months now. They’re practically experts.

Blaine is really not paying attention to the smart ass talk and the half naked boys around him in the locker room. He’s just finished a great workout with Sam and Mike, and he’s already buttoned and bow tied and meticulously gelling his hair to meet Kurt for their Lima Bean date. But there are some conversations that he can’t pretend not to hear. Or unhear as he might wish.

“She’s totally not, Puck,” He hears Finn assert a little too loudly. “Just ‘cause she didn’t sleep with _you_. She even does _other_ things.” Now Blaine is listening despite himself. “Even if she does use her teeth.”

Oh. Okay. 

“Oh dude, I know what you’re saying. You’d think it’d be obvious. No teeth down there,” Puck punches Finn in some kind of brotherly sympathy.

“Are you talking about-” Sam is nodding and making some kind of motion that Blaine thinks is meant to imply penis-in-mouth. “I get it. I do.” 

So apparently blowjobs with teeth is a widespread problem of sexually active teen straight guys.  Or else they’re all drama queens - which is probably the more likely explanation. Perhaps not something he ever wished to learn but here he is, back towards the gang, gelling his hair, and now biting his lip. Because he thinks he could maybe help their predicament. But - would they be weird? They can’t possibly think he and Kurt just hold hands and gaze each other all day. No. They’re cooler than that.

He turns around, “Sorry to interrupt, guys, but I think I may be able to help?”  The guys freeze and stare at him as if he just told them something in Chinese.

Puck speaks first, “No offense, Blaine. But I don’t think you really know about chicks,” Puck cuts him off.

“That’s true, Puck,” and there’s nothing like a bit of condescension to get Blaine going, “But I do know about,” He lowers voice, “ _Blowjobs_. Probably _better_ than most of you.” He waits for that to sink in. The guys are looking at him suspiciously.

“I know you’re with Kurt and all - but I’ve like been with the entire cheerleading team. I don’t think you know better than-”

“Puck,” Sam elbows him, “He means because umm - he’s gay.”

“I know he’s gay, Sam. I just said he’s with Ku- Oh. Because he knows how to-”

“Yes, Puck,” Blaine smiles with just a tinge of pride, “Because I know how to give ummm, as well as receive.” Blaine really never imagined that he’d see this moment. Finn, Puck, Mike, and Sam, focused intently on him and listening. Because of his sexual expertise. Well. This is certainly a far cry from the Finn and Sam of a few short weeks ago. He is totally rising to this occasion. He beckons them to step closer. They do. It’s a little football huddle.

“So two tips on teaching them how to ummm, perfect? The first thing is to ask her, _politely_ , to cover her teeth. Like this.” And Blaine covers his teeth with his bottom and top lips taught, and opens his mouth in demonstration.

“Wyke Dis?” Sam imitates.

“Exactly,” Blaine nods his approval and soon they’ve all got their mouths open, lips over teeth in well practiced blowjob formation. And oh how he wants to take a picture to show Kurt. But he doesn’t.

“Okay, so what else?” Puck has gone from condescending to riveted. 

“Well, another thing I think is important - Tell her umm - about the sensitive part right under the rim of the head. I’ve had a few girl chats and it seems to me that’s a secret that only guys know.

“How come they talk to you about this stuff?” silent Mike suddenly pipes in. And it’s somewhat fitting as Tina had actually been the one to whom he revealed the secret. 

“Well, have you tried you know, actually  _talking_ about it? Not just _‘Do you want to’_ but the _‘How to’?_ ” Blaine shrugs. They’re all staring quietly.

Finn’s wheels are turning and he is nodding and nodding. “Thanks dude. Seriously,” Finn clasps him on the shoulder, grabs his gym  bag and makes a beeline out of the change room, followed in line by the other guys who all voice some form of gratitude and broship approval. Running off to - he _really_ does not want to know. 

He’s picking up his own bag, about to lock his locker, when his phone buzzes.

From Kurt:  Puck just gave me a high five and said ‘sup dude? - 

From Kurt: He has never called me _dude_ in his life.

Blaine exits the locker room as Kurt approaches, ready for their Lima bean date. “I may know why. I have a confession,” Blaine looks at him sheepishly.

Kurt’s eyebrows rise suspiciously, “A confession?”

“I just spent the last twenty minutes telling Puck, Finn, Mike, and Sam how to give a,” Blaine lowers his voice, “Blowjob.”

Kurt squeaks out a sound, “You _what?”_ Then he turns away, shaking his head vigorously,  “No, I am sure I don’t want to know.”

“Okay.” Blaine shrugs his shoulder and waits.

“Okay fine, spill. But please spare me the gory details,” Kurt huffs.

“Oh I know how you hate the gory details about giving head,” Blaine whispers in his ear.

Kurt turns to him sternly, “Don’t even try to flirt your way out of this. Tell me why on earth four uber straight guys, including my _stepbrother_ , decided to ask _you_ about giving a-”

“Blowjob?”

“Yes. I mean, not exactly a skill they need or - ” and Kurt looks scandalized and Blaine is starting to really laugh.

“No,” He’s still laughing but takes a breath, “Not for them. To tell their girlfriends or whomever might be you know-”

“Yes. Get it. Got it.” Kurt is oscillating between fascinated and repulsed. Blaine is amused.  “But why  - I mean _I_ know you know but why - “

“Because I have the benefit of giving _and_ receiving,” Blaine says obviously but there’s still laughter underneath.

“So you gave them the expert’s guide? Tried, tested and true, tell your girlfriends?”

“Yup.”  Blaine’s eyes are shining and he bounces on his toes as he watches Kurt’s indignation turn into a soft, secret smile. “I also told them to tell the girls to ask _you_ for pointers, because you are the _master_ ,” Blaine whispers low in his ear and Kurt’s face turns beet red.

“You did not, Blaine, so help you-”

“You’ll never know,” Blaine’s voice is a whisper and his breath is on Kurt’s ear and his hand has come up to trail slowly along Kurt’s arm. “Because you _definitely_ are,” Blaine breathes, “ _Dude._ ”

3.

It’s the evening after the afternoon of the double feature they saw with Tina, after the night they spent wrapped around each other - in the car, on the dance floor, in a hotel bed, and Blaine is lying on his bed and staring at the ceiling. Kurt has left now for the airport - in fact, he’s probably on a plane back to New York at this very moment. Back to his New York life and his New York Guy-Who’s-Not-His-Boyfriend. And Blaine is here, at home in Lima, alone.

Until his phone buzzes. Tina.

Tina: Okay Blaine Anderson. I’m at your front door. Are you going to let me in and tell me just what is going on between you and “That’s all we are, we’re just friends”?

Blaine laughs to himself as he makes his way downstairs to let her in. Well at least he wasn’t the only one who thought their chemistry was obvious.

Tina is a whirlwind when she walks in, talking all the while she marches to his bedroom. “First I catch you making out in the car - which does _not_ stop you, then you’re singing a duet, then I’m launching into an admittedly poorly chosen rant because Blaine - even though I had a crush on you, I know how much you still care about him and I just can’t take you hurting again - and then he’s calling me _psycho_ in boyfriend-like defense, and then you’re slow dancing like you never want tomorrow to come, and then the next day we’re all seeing a movie together and you’re all just friends? Just what is going on, Blaine?”

Blaine chuckles quietly to himself as he sits down on his bed, motioning for Tina to take a seat across from him. “You forgot one thing,” He smiles at her as she stares at him indignant and confused.

“And what’s that?”

“We slept together.” He watches Tina’s eyes go wide in surprise.

“Shut up. You did not.” 

Blaine just nods and looks down as his cheeks pinken. “I’m sorry, was that TMI?”

“No. No. Not at all. Seriously, Blaine. You’re one of my best friends. We need to talk about this stuff.”

“Okay then. Well, we did,” Blaine can see the questions on Tina’s lips so he answers pre-emptively, “At the hotel. After the main course dinner. We skipped dessert,” He giggles to himself, “Well, we had a different kind, I guess.”

“Blaine,” Tina rolls her eyes at him. “How did that even happen?”

“It was Kurt’s idea, actually,” Blaine says, a warm feeling and a little bit of pride flushing his face, “After Mercedes caught us making out in the car and it was time for the wedding, I don’t know, I guess Kurt felt like we had some unfinished business?” Blaine tries.

“I’ll say,” Tina huffs out a laugh. Blaine is looking down at his lap, legs crossed, shaking his head. “But you don’t just mean sex.”

“Well, yes and no. I think Kurt really meant for that to be all it was. He kept saying that at least - _just friends_ , _not back together, it was fun but_ -” Blaine sighs as the sadness that had momentarily dissipated fills him again.

“But-” Tina continues for him. “There is a but, right?”

“I think so. I mean-” Blaine uncrosses and re-crosses his legs fidgeting and mulling over whether he should say anything.

“What happened?”

“It was just - it was good. The sex, I mean.” He stops as if that explains everything.

“Well, you’re both pretty hot, so I’m not sure that’s revelatory.”

“Shut up,” He throws a pillow at her. “No, I mean, it was connected. Like,” He sighs and gulps.

“Spill it, Blaine. I can handle it. I’m not exactly a blushing virgin. Mike and I were having sex for over a year before we broke up.”

“Okay. That’s true. Okay,” Blaine takes a deep breath and starts again. “So once we were in the hotel room and it was clear we were really doing this, I knew that all I wanted to do was give to him. I hurt him and if there was a way I could show him, in the way I touched him or something-”

“God you _are_ a romantic,” Tina sighs.

“I guess so. Anyways. He seemed amenable because I asked him to just let _me,_ and so I basically spent an hour just focused on him and he spent an hour just focused on himself. Don’t get me wrong - He was responsive but he was letting me give. Letting me in for the first time in - Well, you know since when.” 

Blaine pauses for a minute. He’s not going to tell her the _detail_ details. About how when they got into the hotel room, Kurt seemed ready to tear his clothes off and have fast, angry sex, but he stopped him. “Kurt, please,” Blaine grabbed his arms to stop him, taking a step away to make Kurt look at him. “ _I_ want to. Just let me do everything, okay?” Kurt was surprised but he had nodded as Blaine had slowly unbuttoned Kurt’s  dress shirt, pulling it carefully off of his shoulders, only breaking eye contact to kiss his neck gently. He unzipped Kurt’s pants and asked him to lie down on the bed, as he quickly shed his own clothes. And then he spent what he thinks was something close to an hour kissing every spot on Kurt - the spot under his collar bone that drives him crazy, his nipples, the spot on his left side that tickles, the fuzzy part of his thighs. Remembering and creating. He didn’t want Kurt to do _anything_. He went down on him forever and let him come in his mouth and then kissed him and kissed him until his emotions were ready to burst.

“But then the weirdest thing happened -” Blaine’s face is still amazed, “I was ready to just, you know, finish myself,” And that’s as detailed as he gets when he’s not talking to Kurt, “But he wouldn’t let me. _He_ wanted to.” Blaine had been kissing him and started to stroke himself, knowing it would take him maybe three seconds to come too, but Kurt had stopped him and asked him to wait. And looking him straight in the eyes, Kurt had interlaced their fingers and _they_ touched him like that. And he came with Kurt looking him straight in the eyes. Kurt’s eyes were wet. Blaine knows he didn’t imagine it because there was nothing in him that would have dared to expect Kurt to be so vulnerable. 

“So he did,” Tina finishes for him

“Yeah, he definitely did,” Blaine smiles at her, a mixture of sadness and hope.

“But then?”

“You saw,” Blaine shrugs, “He’s not ready yet. He put back on his layers. But-”

“But you think you cracked one?” 

“Something like that.” 

Because Blaine has to hope that even when Kurt tries to be the gay bar superstar (or the casual wedding fling, as the case may be), deep down he is still just a silly romantic. 

4.

Blaine and Sam walk into their apartment after their second boys’ night at _Serendipity._ They had each had a chefs salad, instead of the usual frozen hot chocolate and burgers - Sam to stay slim for his audition, Blaine for his and Kurt’s new healthy diet regime. The salad was pretty good, Blaine has to admit, as long as he doesn’t focus too much on Artie’s wallowing in self pity fudge sundae.

“So you weren’t too into my abstinence club idea,” Sam starts. Blaine had already picked up the video game remote, ready to resume their classic game of Qbert, having long forgotten Sam’s moment of lunacy. He side eyes him.

“No, Sam. I wasn’t,” Blaine tries not to sound too patronizing. Sometimes Sam _really_ does not have good ideas.

Sam just keeps talking, though, “So for safe sex, do you even have to use condoms for a-” Sam lowers his voice even though no one else is home, “Blowjob?” Oh. Sam wants to talk. Sex with Mercedes being a no go. Okay. So that might  not have been the introduction he was expecting. But okay, he can work with it.

“Well, that depends,” Blaine sits down on the couch, Sam plopping on the other end, “If it’s a total stranger who you’ve never been with before, it can be a good idea. It’s technically a low risk activity, but not a no risk, if you know what I mean.”

“Yeah,” Sam sighs.

“Why? Is that something Mercedes was asking for?” Because somehow he knows this isn’t about some hot stranger.

“No. God, I wish,” Sam shakes his head. “I think she considers that sex too.  Seems like anything below the belt, actually.”

“Well, that is very progressive of her,” Blaine nods approvingly.

“It is?”

“Oh not the not doing it - I mean that’s her choice entirely. I just mean that sex is a lot more than umm, penis in vagina?” Blaine tries.  Sam appears to be thinking about it. “For me, anyways, sex is like-”

“Stuff below the belt?”

“Yeah, kind of. It’s more than that, though. But close enough.” 

“So she doesn’t want to.” Sam says it matter of factly as his shoulders slump.

“Yeah. I got that,” Blaine nods. It’s not a great situation.

“Not until she’s married,” He adds and Blaine’s eyes widen.

“Can you deal with that?”

Sam takes a second to answer, “I want the answer to that question to be yes.”

“But you don’t know,” Blaine finishes.

“I don’t know,” Sam sighs.  “God, you and Kurt have two guys. You like could _never_ have this issue. I know what it’s like to be a guy - we _always_ want to do it.” 

Despite how true that may be now, Blaine knows that isn’t inherent, “We actually waited a long time to have sex. More than six months. We were in highschool. I guess we weren’t ready yet.”

“You did?”

“Yeah. Kurt always seemed to understand, probably better than I did, that sex too quickly could be too much. Intense. So we waited until we were both comfortable.”

Sam looks impressed. “And now?”

“Oh it’s intense,” Blaine smiles sheepishly. “It’s one of our best ways of being together. Kurt - you know Kurt - he can be closed off. .But umm, not so much in bed?” Blaine says it quickly wondering if it’s too much.

“Yeah,” Sam is wistful. “That’s cool that you have that, I mean.”

“I think for us it’s a way of communicating.”

Sam nods slowly. “I get that. I believe that, you know? I _can_ wait but…I like sex.”

Blaine nods. He likes sex too. He likes sex with Kurt. Emotionally and physically and for fun and for love. 

“I love Mercedes.”

“I know you do, Sam.” Sam smiles at him and seems to suddenly shake it off. 

“Qbert?”

Blaine just goes with the 180 degree turn because sometimes there isn't much else to say.  “I’m gonna kick your ass.”

5.

Blaine is sitting across from Kurt in their new favorite cafe - ironically named The Bushwick Bean - sipping iced coffee. They’re both sticky from their Saturday morning abs class but the coffee is strong and cool. After coffee they will go back to _their_ loft - well, Rachel will be leaving soon for LA -  and they will shower and do some homework before they grocery shop for Monday night dinner with the remaining gang. 

“Do you think we have time to go home and _you know_ before Rachel gets home from her massage?” Kurt’s voice shakes him out of his thoughts.

“Oh! Ummm...Maybe? But I’m all sweaty and I’m not sure we have time to shower _and_ -”

“I like you sweaty.”

“Gross,” Blaine looks down at his half soaked t-shirt clinging to his chest. “Seriously?”

“What? You fell asleep while we were watching the movie last night, and this morning’s abs class got in the way of any wake up sex-”

Blaine shakes his head, “Kurt, we had sex _yesterday morning_?!” Blaine reminds half in jest all in earnest. Because while he doesn’t mind - _at all_ \- that Kurt has gotten a little demanding in this area, he is kind of amused by it. “Do you remember when you didn’t even want to _talk_ about sex?” He looks at the Kurt sitting across from him - He’s in his workout tanktop, short shorts, his biceps still veiny from excercise, slight stubble from not shaving for a couple of days. His eyes are shining with a naughty gleam but not a hint of kidding. He smells like sex. And god he’s so good at it. Giving, taking, letting down walls, his touch is deliberate and skilled and electric. Blaine was always someone who was a physical person, a sexual person, who knew he’d love sex even before he had had it, who hadn’t inherently needed love to have sex, and somehow the guy who wouldn’t even think about sex, has turned him inside out. 

“Am I ever going to live that down?”

“Probably not,” Blaine grabs his and Kurt’s empty coffee cups, chucks them in the garbage can, and offers Kurt his hand to escort him out and back home. “But I am glad that you’re basically insatiable.”

“I am n-” Blaine raises his eyebrows in a judgemental glare. “Okay fine. Well, you should be grateful that I am a healthy young man with a healthy sex drive, then.”

“Oh I am.”

“So what if it turns out I like the _details_?” Kurt coos at him swinging their hands as they start their walk towards the loft.

“You still remember that you said that?”

“I think I will remember everything about that mortifying conversation forever,” Kurt is shaking his head at himself. Blaine nods and squeezes his hand.

“You didn’t _actually_ think that you wouldn’t like the details, did you?” 

“Well, I did pretty much think I would die a virgin.” Kurt’s sarcasm belies the twinkle in his eye. “Lonely, only out kid in highschool. Thrown in dumpsters. Imagining my teenage dream ripping off my clothes and pinning me against a wall wasn’t exactly on my list of realistic expectations.”

“And yet,” Blaine’s heart surges at the reality that they had somehow found each other - if not to pin each other against walls in highschool, then to carefully and nervously remove layers, with shy smiles and messy kisses. 

“And yet,” Kurt agrees squeezing his hand back.

“But you didn’t answer my question.”

“You’re serious? Okay.  I guess if I thought about it, even though I wouldn’t admit it to myself - I thought I _would_ like -” 

They look at each other and simultaneously answer, “Blowjobs,” with a shrug.

“Guess that was pretty obvious,” Kurt giggles and then adds, “Okay. But some other things seriously freaked me out. I wasn’t kidding. I never thought I’d try rimming. My sixteen year old self probably would never have even imagined it, and when I first umm, _heard_ of it in _adult_  movies, I was like why would you want to do _that,_ _there_?” 

“Really?” Because being suspicious of rimming would make perfect sense except that Kurt had been the one who had initiated it. Out of nowhere. “But you _did._ I mean, to me. _In senior year._ I didn’t even ask.”

“I’m glad you remember.” 

Blaine looks at him like he’s crazy. You don’t forget when you’re occasionally still shy boyfriend suddenly decides to do something totally unexpected on Valentine’s Day of all days. “Yeah, I remember,” Blaine says obviously . He knew Kurt had been happy that he had showed up at Sugar’s party and surprised him. He knew they were both horny from weeks after surgery keeping them apart. But he did not know Kurt was going to do _that_ to him that night. And he didn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth - as dirty as that sounds. So he never asked. “Why did you?”

Kurt blushes. “It’s not really that inspirational. You were just hot.”

“Really?” Blaine laughs, “So suddenly you realized that-”

“I wanted to lick you everywhere, including _there_ , and turn you upside down with wanting me? Yeah, pretty much that was it.” Blaine looks at Kurt and thinks yet again - _zig zig zig zig zig_.

“What about you?” Kurt starts but then stops, “Oh I know you, Mr. Sex Education. I am sure you had an open mind to _everything_ and were like ‘ _Oh yum. I can’t wait to stick my tongue in someone’s_ -”

Blaine knocks him in the side, “Oh shut up. Just ‘cause my thirteen year old self could not find out about enough details to satisfy my appetite. You’ll be surprised to learn that there _is_ something - _a detail_ \- that I was wary of, by the way. You’ll never guess.”

“What?” Kurt raises his eyebrows in curiosity.

“My politically progressive self is ashamed to admit it.” 

“I wasn’t aware that being nervous about a sexual activity could be a political disappointment.”

“Bottoming.” Blaine says it quickly. “Not because of the act. Because of the implication.”

“Oh. Wow.” Blaine peeks over and can see Kurt is genuinely surprised. 

“I told you my progressive self wouldn’t approve. Shun the stereotypes. Top or bottom - it’s meaningless. Celebrate the body. Blah blah blah,” Blaine explains.

“Don’t you believe that, though?”

“Yeah. I do. I did then too. But sometimes I liked the idea that _you_ thought of _me_ as the alpha gay - your words-” Blaine reminds before Kurt can be offended. “‘Cause god knows I’m really not one.”

“Yeah, well, neither am I,” Kurt leans into his side, warm and still sweat sticky. “So like me fucking you-”

“Not very alpha gay,” Blaine shrugs.

“Oh I don’t know,” Kurt hums, “Sometimes when you’re riding me…” 

“Kuuurt,” Blaine whines because they’re almost home and all this talk is just a bit too much.

“What is an alpha gay, anyways?” Kurt muses. It had seemed so clear in a highschool world of black and white and gay and straight. 

“I have no idea,” Blaine agrees shaking his head. “All I know is I love when you fuck me.”

“Well, Blaine Anderson,” Kurt turns to him as he clicks the key in the keyhole to their apartment, “We have approximately 45 minutes to demonstrate to our teenage selves the joys of the sex we thought we’d never have.”

Blaine pulls Kurt into the apartment, pushing his body against the door, kissing him, finally kissing him. “Challenge accepted.”


	2. Kurt Hummel Talks About Sex in Six Conversations

**More Bird Talk**




Kurt’s only job is to be himself. At least according to his dad. And his dad seems to mean that even if he’s wearing sweaters to his knees, singing girl songs, or wanting to know what boys’ lips taste like (though he doesn’t tell his dad _that_ part). And though he’s pretty sure that making his dad a significantly healthier dinner than hoagies, and helping out at the garage on weekends, are also on his list of jobs, he knows that as a gay kid growing up in Lima, Ohio, he’s pretty lucky. Not every dad would voluntarily ask to re-listen to ‘Rose’s Turn’ after hearing it belted it out in anger by his son.

But even having a dad that cool doesn’t prevent him from being lonely.

* * *

He’s lonely. And posing with Brittany as his girlfriend doesn't really help at all. It makes it worse, actually.

Kurt and his dad walk out of the auditorium, but he tells him that he’ll meet him at home for dinner - just the two of them -  because there is one last thing he has to do. 

“There you are,” Brittany looks at him confused as she walks into the choir room. It isn’t really so different from how she always looks, “I didn’t recognize you without the baseball cap.” Not that he had ever worn a baseball cap before last week. 

“Brittany, I think we should talk,” He wants to be as gentle as possible.

“We are talking,” she says simply. But perhaps with some people straightforward will work better.

“Brittany, I need to tell you something,” He says and Brittany is unphased. “I _am_ capital G gay.” He says it. 

“Oh I know that,” Brittany shrugs, still smiling. “You’re wearing scarves again,” She offers in explanation.

“I am,” Kurt breathes out a laugh. “Guess the fashion gene was too strong?” Okay. Deed is done. No more girlfriend.

“So do you still wanna make out?” Brittany is serious. If he didn’t know her better he’d think she wasn’t.

“No, Brittany. That’s why I’m telling you. I don’t think I want to make out with _any_ girls, actually. It isn’t you,” He feels like he’s in an alternate universe where it’s his role to let a girl down easy. Or bluntly, as the case may be.

Brittany nods in her own way of understanding. He’s about to wrap it up, he did the right thing, the honorable thing, when she adds excitedly,  “Boys lips do taste delicious.”

“They do?” His cheeks pinken because, well because no one ever really talks to him about boys in _that_ way, and he hasn’t really let himself talk about boys in _that_ way, but he wants to. He really wants to. And he is sure this is a way better part of Brittany than making out.

“Have you kissed a boy?” She asks. And it’s _that_ question again. Is it a thing that he can’t say that he’s gay unless he’s kissed someone. Is there a rule in the Gay Charter that does not let members in if they’ve never been kissed?

“No,” Kurt admits, “But I want to. That’s why I asked you what it was like.” 

“Oh that’s okay,” Brittany sits down on top of the desk, seemingly deep in thought, “I think you’re really going to like it.”

Kurt wants to laugh ironically because _yeah_. There has to be at least one advantage to being gay, and he figures liking kissing another guy- and maybe other things but he tries hard not to think too much about _that_ yet - is probably it. “I hope so,” his cheeks flush brighter, “But it’s all kind of moot when you’re the only gay kid in all of Ohio.”

Brittany just shakes her head. “No,” she says matter-of-factly, “You’re brave, Kurt. And I know if I see that then a boy who’s like you is going to see that. And then you’ll make out and see that I’m right about delicious burger lips.”

“Not when you’re the only one out in Lima.”

“Oh you’re not,” Brittany says with certainty. “I’m good with stats,” she says with equal certainty, “I know the odds and there are other gay sharks in Lima.”

Kurt sighs because other gay boys in Lima is about as likely as Brittany being good at statistics. And the burger lips thing is actually kind of gross. But at least he’s talking to a friend about kissing a boy. Even if he’s not doing the kissing. So he figures that’s progress.

2.

Kurt is lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, and he may or may not have just kicked his legs in juvenile jubilance. It’s the evening of the day after the day that they kissed. That Blaine kissed _him_. And he is still so overwhelmed that his body hasn’t stopped thrumming with excitement. 

But right now he needs to focus. Because Rachel and Mercedes are coming over and he has to tell them. He _has_ to. Part of him wants to keep his secret close to his heart - it’s something so precious it feels fragile. But the other part of him wants to sing from the rooftops that he has someone. That he has _Blaine_. And he has always promised Rachel and Mercedes that they would be the first ones to know if it ever happened. So he asked them to come over for their weekly hang out. For some Dalton news. And well, that’s all true.

The girls arrive and march swiftly up to his room where they always convene. Kurt has the popcorn popped and Rachel and Mercedes are already comfortably plopped on his pillows before he even has the chance to sit down. Rachel is  bubbling on about something to do with Finn and Quinn but he really cannot concentrate today so he perches on the edge of the bed, doing his best to look like he’s listening.

Rachel finally takes a breath and Mercedes jumps in, “Kurt, you said you had some news from Dalton?” 

Rachel’s attention immediately focuses on Kurt. “Yes, Kurt. I want to know everything you can tell me about Regionals. What songs are you doing, what-”

“I’m not going to tell you our set list, Rachel. I’m not on your team anymore, remember?” Kurt sighs. Rachel is never easy.

“Oh,” Rachel seems to be digesting the information, “So what did you have to talk about?” As if there could be nothing other than show choir. 

“Me, actually,” Kurt wants to be irritated but the smile creeping on to his face betrays him.

“Just you?” Rachel is confused.

“Well, no. Not _just_ me,” And now Kurt knows his red cheeks and dopey grin are entirely giving him away. “Me and Blaine.”

“You mean?” Mercedes eyes go wide.

“Kurt, oh my god. Seriously?” Rachel is  flailing her hands, and Kurt just nods his head and nods his head as he watches the information register. “ _You_ and _Blaine_?”

“Oh who else?” Kurt is trying so hard to remain cool.  “But yes. Kissing. Is happening,” Both girls are staring at him silently, “With Blaine.” And before he can even breathe relief for getting it out he’s being tackled by four arms, and squeals of excitement are ringing in his ears. “I know, I know, I know, I know,” Kurt says over and over again while he shakes his head in disbelief and his friends freak out in front of him. “I know. It’s unbelievable.”

Rachel finally sits back, clapping her hands. “You know Kurt, I really felt this was destined to happen. After it became clear that Blaine and I couldn’t be romantically involved because Blaine was only interested in boys-”

"Not that you didn’t know that already," Mercedes sasses under her breath and Kurt smirks to himself.

"Anyways," Rachel continues,  "I really had this feeling that it was only a matter of time because if not me, then it has to be my best friend-"

"This isn’t about _you_ for once, Rachel," Mercedes says, "Can we get back to the details of what happened, please? Like _hello_?"

'Yes yes of course. Tell us _everything_ , Kurt.”

And thank god for Mercedes because if Kurt never hears about Blaine’s little dabble in bisexuality again, it will be too soon. 

"I don’t know. What’s there to tell? I think I told you already." He’s new at this.

"Like did _you_ kiss _him_ first? Or did _he_ kiss _you_?"

"He kissed me," Kurt answers quickly and he can’t help the flush of pride. _Blaine_ kissed _him_. "And then I kissed him. But now I don’t think it matters anymore. I can’t keep track."

"Oh my god, _Kurt,”_ Rachel’s eyes are bugging out and she is riveted and now very focused.  “Were they innocent kisses? Or more sensual French kisses?" Inquiring minds apparently want to know.

"What do you _think_ , Rachel? We didn’t spend hours pecking each other like pigeons looking for breadcrumbs," Kurt huffs. _Honestly_. Of course there were tongues involved. And the memory of Blaine’s open warm mouth wraps around him again - _Oh my god there were tongues involved_. He blushes despite himself.

"Kuuuurt. This is so exciting!" Rachel squeals as the phone buzzes. Kurt looks over and it’s Blaine. _Blaine_. He smiles to himself. But before he can reach it to answer, Rachel grabs it off of the side table and presses talk.

"Oh my god, don’t you dare."

"Hi Blaine," Rachel sing songs, and Kurt is pretty sure that if Mercedes wasn’t here to be a witness, he’d commit a crime. "So I hear that you and Kurt-"

"Rachel!" Kurt almost yells as he grabs the phone out of her hand.

"I’m so sorry. Please tell me you’re still talking to me," Kurt says into the phone. And yes, he admits he’s being a tad melodramatic.

"Of course I’m still talking to you," Kurt can hear Blaine’s amused smile on the other end. "Why wouldn’t I be talking to you? Unless of course there are _other things_ we could be doing instead." Blaine flirts. He is _such_ a dork. 

"Oh my god," Kurt huffs, blushing profusely. And this side of Blaine definitely takes some getting used to. He is impossibly cheesy. And also suggestive. About _him_. Like all the time. And Kurt is ashamed to admit that he loves it. 

"So you’re not mad?"

"Mad? No. Why would I be mad? It’s not a secret. I told the guys today after gym, actually." And Kurt can just picture it, Blaine’s pips high fiving him and patting him on the back one after the other.

"You did?" Kurt asks as Rachel leans into his space to listen. 

"Yeah," Blaine chuckles, "They told me it’s about time."

"Well," Rachel pipes in pressing the phone on speaker so she can talk - _again_ \- "I couldn’t agree more and I couldn’t be happier. I look forward to seeing you at Regionals in a few days so I can formally congratulate-"

"Oh god, _Regionals_ ," Kurt groans in frustration. "Don't remind me. Blaine, we really have to practice that duet. We haven’t been practicing.”

"Oh really, Kurt?" Blaine's voice is more amused than worried, "If I recall yesterday afternoon, I thought we were." Kurt should definitely have known better than to walk into that one. That was _his_ innuendo, after all. _Innuendo_. That's a thing now. 

Kurt blushes from ear to ear but when he looks up Rachel and Mercedes are neutral, ready to warn that New Directions will have them beat. 

He told them and they know. But they also don't know. Because this part, this feeling of flirty and giddy and something he thinks might be sexy, is only for them. He holds it close to his chest and quietly beams.

3.

Kurt realizes that he’s almost ready to have sex. He may actually _be_ ready - with the amount he thinks about it anyways. It’s getting to be a problem. And the way he feels when he and Blaine have a chance to be alone with the door closed and unlimited time. It’s hot and frustrated and in love and wanting all at the same time. 

They’ve talked about sex and they’ve set their boundaries so they don’t move too fast. But within those boundaries, they push and push. Both of them. Kurt looks at Blaine shirtless, hard under his clothes, lets his eyes wander and linger, his fingers teasing his nipples. Blaine watches him looking with heavy, blown eyes. Looks back at him. He smirks. Blaine is getting freer with his words - ‘ _You’re hot’, ‘You turn me on’, ‘I love feeling you’, ‘We’re both hard this is getting dangerous’_. And though Blaine’s easy words send jolts of electricity  - the good kind - running through him, he wants to hear more, to see more, to do more, he thinks. 

Which is why he had asked Blaine that afternoon if he didn’t think they were being just a little bit too safe by not letting their hands roam south of the equator. 

But _no_. Blaine is satisfied. He has _masturbation_. And Kurt was ready to pretty much throttle him - or do many other unspeakable things - because Blaine can’t just say those things. _Oh no, Kurt. We’re in highschool. We don’t need to undress each other. I can just undress you in my head while I get myself off. Isn’t life grand?_

Blaine has always been a little clueless when he’s trying to send him signals. But even if the boundaries hadn’t changed then, Blaine at least indulged him in a particularly hot hands-north-of-the-equator make out session. The cooling off periods are getting longer and more involved - breathe, cold water, think of math class, and yeah, if all else fails, masturbate. But when you’re late for dinner with your dad, like he was tonight, there isn’t always time for that.  _Algebra, statistics, polynomials, trigonometry._

Somehow he makes it through supper with chit chat about this week’s glee club assignment and West Side Story. He does his homework, practices his lines, and he’s just preparing his face cloths and moisturizers before bed, when his phone buzzes.

Blaine: Are your lotions ready?

Kurt: Almost. Call in a minute.

“Hey” Blaine answers, “Sorry if that sounded suggestive. I think I’m still cooling off from this afternoon.”

“Wha-” Oh. Yes. More masturbation talk. There is no escape apparently. “Well, we all know that lubricant is a safer and better alternative to expensive pine and musk scented lotions,” Kurt informs with a giggle.

“Well someone’s been reading their health pamphlets.”

“Then again, maybe raspberry scented moisturizer is a better reminder of you,” Kurt teases. He doesn’t think it’s too much.

“My hairgel?”

“It’s pretty iconic. One little squeeze of raspberry and you’re all I can think of.”

“Makes you want to _rip off my clothes and get dirty_?” Blaine mimics his words from earlier in the day, half in jest, all in earnest.

Kurt groans, “Can I be totally honest with you?” Because subtlety obviously had not worked this afternoon.

“Of course.”

“Sometimes, actually," He breathes out,  "It _does._ ” No sarcasm. Just honesty.

“Wow. Okay,” And he thinks he hears Blaine gulp, “Well can I be totally honest with you?”

“Of course,” Kurt nervous giggles, because apparently they are talking about this again. But it’s different. Something is shifting.

“I think about it a lot. About you a lot. Like _that_.”

Kurt is blushing now and his heart is racing, “You do?”

“Yeah,  I do. I mean, I did sort of say that I umm,... spend time thinking of you _by myself_ after some of our make out sessions, didn’t I?”

“No. You said your _solo time_ helps you not cross our boundaries. You didn’t say anything about who you think about. And I wouldn’t be offended if I’m usurped by Brad Pitt or Dr. Ross from ER. I know how you feel about George Clooney in a doctor’s uniform.”

Blaine laughs, “Well, it’s not. It’s you,” Blaine is suddenly serious, “It’s only you. For ages now, actually.”

“Ages?”

“You have no idea," Blaine sighs, "Probably since the week after we kissed?”

"For that long?”

“Yup,” Blaine sounds like it’s a confession. “Not that I was ready to do anything or anything like that. Does that freak you out?”

Kurt's heart is racing and his face flushes but the answer is so easy. “No, not at all. And me too, by the way. I mean, I think about you when I have _alone time_  too. Only you.”

“Really?” Blaine sounds inexplicably amazed because he just told him the same exact thing.

“Of course. I mean you do, right? Though it took me a bit longer than a week to turn random, nameless, sort of faceless hot guy into you.” 

“You’re hotter than Brad Pitt anyways.”

“Are you insane?”

“Fine then. You at least rival him. And no, just in love.” And god how Blaine  manages to be both a total dork and such a hottie he’ll never fully understand. “So ummm, we both think about each other when we -”

“I don’t think I can take another euphemism,” Kurt cuts him off.

“Okay fine. When we masturbate.” Kurt giggles because Blaine does have a way with words. “And I find you incredibly sexy. I just want to make sure you know that.”

Kurt flushes despite himself, because even though he’s pretty sure that he does know that, he’s not used to hearing it said so plainly outside the heat of the moment when they're having an almost grown up conversation about, you know, actual sex. It feels amazing. Blaine's voice and words and tone and intention all feel amazing. It's affecting him. He wants more. 

“I feel that too...about you," Kurt's voice is breathy and high.

"Yeah," Blaine's voice is almost a whisper. Oh god. He can't vouch for Blaine but he is definitely turned on.

"Blaine? I think....ummm, this conversation is making me-” Kurt pauses because he's not sure exactly what to say.

“Me too. You mean like this afternoon when we were together?”

“Yes,” Kurt's voice shakes.”Like _that._ ” And Kurt wonders where this is going to go for a second. Both of them clearly did not properly cool off this afternoon. And he's shivering with nerves. In a good way.

Then Blaine groans in frustration, “Kuuurt, I want to so much. Your voice and you and -, " Blaine shakes it off, "But I don’t want to do this for the first time on the phone. I want it to be with you. In person. I want to hold you.” And god, Blaine is really more of a romantic than he is. Or maybe he just has more will power right now. But he knows he’s right.

Kurt sighs, “I know. Okay. Me too. I want it to be that way too. And we’re young. We’re not in a rush.”

“Right,” Blaine agrees and breathes deeply, but says quickly, “So I’m going to go now and see you tomorrow, okay?

“Yeah, okay.” Kurt’s voice is still trembling. As if there’s any question as to what they’re both going to do right now when they hang up the phone.

“I’ll be thinking about you,” Blaine says and it somehow comes out as if he’s talking about thoughts of candlelit dinners and not what he really means  - that he’s about to jerk off to thoughts of him naked. Which Kurt thinks may be even better. Because Blaine is going to be thinking about having _sex_ with _him_. Right now.

And that is definitely why they invented masturbation.

4. 

It’s been 3 weeks since they started having sex, and it’s amazing. Blaine is always a gentleman. Always makes sure everything is okay with Kurt, that he’s comfortable right before they get into it, and right after they’re done. So far it’s been all hands and bodies rubbing and nakedness and letting themselves chase that feeling and not pull back and not stop and come. Kurt loves it. More than he even thought he would. He loves looking at Blaine naked and desperate and turned on. He loves watching Blaine touch him. He even loves watching Blaine watch him and all his reactions that make him embarrassed to think about but apparently not to actually have while they’re too busy being turned on. And he loves Blaine’s ass. He feels shameless and powerful and proud and only a bit childish for literally thinking about sex most of the time. Though his health class does assure that’s normal for a teenage boy. 

And he wants to try more things. He assumes that Blaine probably does too but he is too busy being a gentleman to notice that it’s okay not to be one sometimes. They’re there. They’re comfortable. And Kurt doesn’t want to be thanked for letting Blaine give _him_ a handjob. 

It’s a Wednesday after school when no one is home yet at Blaine’s house, and Blaine is momentarily transformed from dapper gentleman to confident erotic god. He’s focused and strong, hands getting increasingly bold and skilled while he simultaneously does unspeakable things with his tongue on Kurt’s stomach. Kurt comes all over him - Blaine’s hands, his neck, even a bit on his chin. “Well that’s a first,” Kurt giggles as he runs his finger along the come on Blaine’s chin and then wipes it on the kleenex Blaine hands him. “Sorry?” Kurt says but he doesn’t really mean it.

“No, Kurt. Don’t apologize. I loved it,” Blaine’s eyes are still full with lust but also back to sincere and earnest and kind. “Thank you-”

“Okay Blaine,” Kurt interrupts, sitting himself up firmly. “You need to stop thanking _me_ for letting _you_ spend half an hour making me feel that good. It’s not a hardship,” Kurt takes Blaine’s hand and gives him his best ‘ _Come on, now’_ face.

“I just want you to know how much I-” Blaine starts earnestly.

“I know. Blaine, I know. I know that you love me and that you love sharing this with me. And that you are so happy that we decided to do this together,” Blaine’s cheeks pinken. “I know you’re so grateful. But you know what?”

“What?” Blaine asks shaking his head at himself and blushing, as Kurt pulls him up from the bed and they’re standing facing each other. 

“I want to show you that I’m grateful too. So I hope you don’t mind-” Kurt drops to his knees, definitely putting on the best bravado he can muster because his nerves are all over the place but he is going to do this. He wants to do this. “If I do _this_ right now.” Blaine is still hard in his boxers so Kurt carefully lifts the elastic up and over, pulls them down and licks his lips. 

“Oh my god, Kurt. You don’t-”

“I _know_ I don’t have to.” And then he closes his eyes and lets himself feel and taste and get lost in the fact that this has been the subject of so many fantasies and he’s doing it now, to Blaine. He’s giving him a blowjob. Not only that but from the sounds of it, Blaine is totally gone. He’s babbling _You’re amazing....Feels so good oh my god...I can’t believe this...Oh my god....Your mouth_...interspersed with low moans and heavy breathing and Kurt thinks _he_ may have to come again very soon. 

“Kurt, I’m going to - oh my god, please come up and let me kiss you,” Blaine pulls at him and he stands up, kissing Blaine fiercely as Blaine comes all over both of them, standing, naked, and filthy. 

“Wow,” Blaine is shaking his head and looking down at the floor. He’s speechless and a mess, which Kurt definitely considers an achievement. “You’re hard again,” Blaine teases staring shamelessly at him.

“Turns out giving a blowjob is pretty hot,” Kurt shrugs but he still blushes and sits down on the bed, passing them both some kleenexes.

“So I’m still completely hazy from the world’s best sex,” Blaine says as he slowly wipes his stomach,  “But I’m thinking that you were trying to tell me something,” Blaine sits down beside him, hand on his thigh, arms touching.

“You think?” Kurt elbows him gently.

“That we should sometimes just go for it?”

“Mmmmm,” Kurt hums, “We’re there, Blaine. I want to do all of this. With you. Probably more than I’m proud to admit,” Kurt laughs at himself, still pink but at least he’s saying it.

“Me too. So much,” Blaine nods and kisses him softly on the lips. “Okay. So,” Blaine pauses to tuck into Kurt’s neck and start kissing gently at that spot Kurt loves, “I am sure then,” More kissing and Kurt is getting shivers, “That you won’t mind,” He kisses lower down his torso as he pushes him back on the bed, “If I find it necessary-” He’s back at that spot on his belly, “To catch up with you. Because you know what it does to me,” He takes one long lick up his cock,  “When you win.”

Kurt moans as Blaine sinks down on him for the first time, “Oh god. Can’t have that. Definitely not.”

“Definitely not,” Blaine agrees and gets to work.

...

Fortunately, Blaine is a _very_ good listener and he takes Kurt’s pushing and he runs with it. No more Mr. Nice Guy.  Blaine surprises him, and he surprises Blaine, and they both spend painstaking time and effort to perfect every technique. They’re naturally competitive, so what better occasion to be the best you can be. And Kurt couldn’t be happier. They’re geniuses.

Though even geniuses have their moments of faulty judgement, because somehow, he finds himself sitting at Rachel’s house with Tina, drinking lemonade at her kitchen table and being asked about blowjobs. And this is because Blaine volunteered his own expertise to their boyfriends, and somehow they thought that it was only fair that they should have access to the advice first hand. From _him._ This is not a good idea.

“Come on, Kurt,” Tina prods. “Mike isn’t great about talking about the details of these things and he said that it may be worth asking you.”

“What makes you think that I want to talk about the details of these things?” Because he doesn’t. He _so_ doesn’t.

“Kurt, it’s not a matter of want. It’s a matter of taking one for the team,” Rachel is going for the guilt trip. “We have spent years sharing our secrets with you, our first kisses, our secret crushes,” and while Kurt admits that’s true, he never really wanted the details. They were just provided. And received sometimes with interest, often with jealousy, and sometimes with   ‘ _please do not tell me anymore_ ’. “And now that we all have boyfriends, you have a distinct advantage in this particular area, and I think it’s only fair that you share with us-”

“To forward the cause of flawless heterosexual blowjobs everywhere?” Because seriously.  This is hardly a matter of justice. And in the fairness department, he figures after years of being thrown in dumpsters, mocked, having no one to dance with at school dances, that if the one perk of being gay is a more intuitive understanding of what feels good during a blowjob, then he’ll take what he can get.

“Come on, Kurt,” Tina whines. “It’s not a big deal. Just tell us.”

“If you won’t, we’ll be forced to have this girl chat with Blaine-”

“That’s a violation of the bro code,” Kurt insists.

“Desperate times call for desperate measures,” Rachel says sternly, notebook out and ready to begin.

“Okay fine,” Kurt rolls his eyes. “I”ll indulge - _briefly,_ ” He emphasizes.

“Oh yes!” Rachel claps her hands, pen poised and already writing a headline   ‘ _Tips for Oral Sex_ ’. Kurt isn’t quite sure he’s going to survive.

“Okay, but this is all you’re getting,” He takes a deep breath and folds his hands in front of him on the table. “So first, let’s talk about what the,” he pauses, thinking, “ _twinkle tube_ is not.”

“Twinkle tube? Seriously?” Tina lifts her eyebrows and Kurt grins at her reveling in his ridiculousness.

“Just go with it, Tina. At least he’s talking,” Rachel urges her, all business.

“Anyways,” Kurt continues, “The twinkle tube is not a lollipop,” and he sees Rachel jot down NOT LOLLIPOP in capital letters and he bites his lip not to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. 

“Which means?” Tina clearly wants to get down to the meat of the matter. 

“Do not lick, lick, lick like a kitten. That’s vaguely stimulating at best and entirely irritating at worst,” Kurt pauses. Tina is nodding, information processed. Rachel is underlining _no little licks._   “It’s also not a Gummy Worm,” Kurt continues and Tina looks confused.

“It doesn’t come in a variety of flavours?” Rachel tries.

“No, Rachel. I mean, don’t bite it’s head off,” Kurt says smirking. “In other words, no teeth. Cover your teeth. Like this.” Kurt begrudgingly and quickly pulls his lips taught over his teeth in practiced blowjob formation. “Okay? So that’s pretty much it. No more blowjob faux pas for you.”

“No way, Kurt,” Tina is shaking her head, “I have so many more questions.”

“Yes, me too,” Rachel agrees enthusiastically and Kurt sighs. 

“Okay. You have five minutes. Ask.”

“Oh it’s not so bad,” Rachel winks at him.

“Five minutes,” Because he really doesn’t want to spend a lot more time thinking about the fact that Rachel is seeking out this information for use on his stepbrother.

“Okay,” Tina starts, “Mike said that the part under the umm - head,” she gets it out, “Is sensitive?”

“Yes.”

_Is deeper better? (It’s one of many pleasurable options)_

_Do you have to put it all the way in? (No.)_

_What if you can’t get it all the way in? (Use your hand at the base - and that got major lightbulbs going off.)_

_Do we touch the balls too? (Ask the guy. Often yes.)_

_Up and down motion? (Yes.)_

_Do I have to gag? (Are you insane?)_

And that last question was Rachel’s and Tina also gave her a major side eye. 

“So I think we’re done,” Tina says and Rachel is nodding, page full of notes complete.

“I want you to know that I really appreciate this, Kurt. And I know that Finn will-”

“Stop. No. _Stepbrother_.”

“Yes, okay. Well, thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Kurt nods at them and feels maybe a little bit proud but he would never admit it. “And one last thing before you take me out for the biggest piece of cheesecake ever,” Kurt adds. “The most important thing is, actually-” Rachel immediately opens her notebook again, “To enjoy it.” Kurt grimaces at his own corniness.

“Well _they_ enjoy it,” Tina huffs.

“Yes, well. You should too. Whether it turns you on itself or turning them on turns you on, you should want to.”

“I do like when Mike starts babbling and-” Kurt puts up his hand.

“TMI?” Tina asks and Kurt nods. “Well _you_ obviously enjoy it,” Tina nudges him.

Kurt sighs and shakes his head at himself but he’s grinning, “More than I think I would have ever let myself imagine.”

“Oh wow, Kurt. You are really in it bad for _you_ to get cheesy.”

“Oh god, I know,” Kurt shakes his head, admonishing himself.

“So _cheese_ cake time?” Rachel goes for the terrible pun.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

5. 

Kurt finally gets back home from the reparatory theatre and shuts his loft door with a relieved click. The snow storm is over. The movie is over. This thing with Adam is...He hasn’t had the guts to say it yet. But at least he’s home, without house guest, right now. He pours himself a cup of tea, slumps down on the couch and is about to flick on whatever trashy reality show he can find, when Santana appears and plops down across from him.

“You’ve been out all evening,” She raises her eyebrows, waiting for an explanation.

“I didn’t realize I had a curfew.” He’s not in the mood.

“Adam was here all weekend,” Santana tries a different angle.

“There was a snowstorm.”

“He slept in your bed.”

“We were on a date.”

“And Blaine?” Santana is clearly not letting up.

“We’re just friends.”

“Oh please, Kurt. I was there, remember? In case you need reminding about the bomb of a wedding where you and _Blaine_ shared a bed, or that you were crying when you heard that nauseating love song for your now called off Anderson Hummel wedding - and don’t even try it. I know you don’t have an astigmatism. You don’t wear contacts, _roomie_.” 

“Yes,” Kurt answers simply.

“Yes?”

“Yes you’ve accurately summarized the situation.”

“Is that all you’re going to say?” 

To talk or not to talk? That is the question. On the one hand, it’s Santana. So not to talk. On the other hand, he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing so it can’t get any worse really. Kurt sighs. “Well, what’s there to say? _You’ve_ clearly figured it out. There’s Adam and there’s Blaine. And I don’t know,” Kurt stops and Santana crosses her arms. He continues, "But I guess it's a warning sign about Adam that when we were ummm-” He pauses, how can he put this? “ _Sharing my bed_ the other night, I was staring at my clothes rack and contemplating tomorrow's outfit while he was _otherwise occupied with me_?"

Santana’s eyebrows shoot up, eyes wide, mouth agape. “Kurt Hummel, I’m impressed.”

“Oh I learn from the best, Santana.”

“You do,” she agrees, smiling wickedly. "God what happened to you? Mr. Romance and Love songs?"

"I know, right?” Kurt sighs,  “I still am, though. That’s the thing.  But that sex the other night? It just...wasn't. I mean, before the disaster of a wedding, it was fun. But this time? I don’t know."

"I should have known that Mr. Nerdy Bowties is killer in bed."

Kurt smiles despite himself, "It's not that, really. Well, I mean, he _is_ ," Kurt says sheepishly with a little bit of pride - and perhaps that feeling should also be a warning sign, "But it’s not a competition-”

“Oh it’s always a competition,” Santana dismisses.

Kurt sighs, “Well, when I was with him - Blaine, I mean - and _he_ was _occupied_ with me - I was definitely not colour coordinating an outfit in my head."

"No of course not. You were obviously belting out _Come What May_ at the top of your lungs. Well chosen song, actually."

“God,” Kurt rolls his eyes, “Don’t be crass. It wasn’t like that.”

“No it was tearfully meaningful and full of pent up longing. Oh yeah - and maybe the L-word. It’s easy to figure out, Kurt. A timeless cliche. ” Santana looks pleased with herself and he looks down because it’s sometimes scary just how right she can be.

“So I told him that we’re just friends,”  Kurt says.

“Adam? Oh thank god because I simply cannot take anymore of those terrible British impress-”

“No, not Adam. _Blaine_.”

“What? What is wrong with you, Kurt? _You_ don’t use people for sex.”

“What? I like sex, okay?” Kurt pauses, looking guilty.

“Well, bravo. It’s about time you lost the blushing innocence thing.”

“And I’m not _using_ anybody.  I just - He _cheated_ on me.”

“Uh uh,” Santana shakes her head in reprimand.

“What?”

“You’ve been through that. Didn’t you say you talked about it _ad nauseam_ \- your words? Now you’re here - and _you_ need to decide what _you_ want. Both guys put the ball in your court. Aren’t you talking to me right now because  - and correct me if I’m getting  this wrong - When one of them is doing unspeakable things to you, you’re zoning out and contemplating your next fashion statement, but when the other one does the same ‘ _I really don’t want to think about it thing_ ’, you you cry metaphorical tears of joy and ecstasy.”

“I actually cried real tears,”Kurt’s heart races because that just slipped out.  Though Santana looks _so_ unimpressed with him right now that it’s preventing him from getting too emotional at the memory.

“You didn’t.” Santana is judging. Kurt doesn’t respond.

“And oh god, Adam wanted to make movie memories with me today,” Kurt sighs. “He got all jealous of the Moulin Rouge thing.”

“Oh god no. You’re worse than lesbians.”

“Oh no. I took him to see _Natural Born Killers_ at the Rep Theatre. I’m not sure if he got the hint.”

“Look Kurt. You’re a good person. A much nicer person than me. While I admit I’m impressed that you no longer show a hint of the highschool innocence you wore for so many years, sulking on the couch despite sleeping with two men doesn’t work for you. You need to make some choices.”

“I’m getting a boyfriend pillow,” Kurt decides and Santana just glares at him. He looks defeated, “I just don’t know what I want.” 

“Actually, Kurt. I think you do. Because you just told me.” 

 _Damn her._ He’s buying Bruce. And they’re exclusive.

6. 

“You know that you’re still dreamy as ever, right?” Kurt looks down at Blaine lying in bed blissed out. Kurt is pretty sure that they have now just had the hottest make up sex ever, beating out the last time they had the hottest make up sex ever. But Kurt knows that the sex this time, after Blaine confessed how he’s feeling about himself and his body, was more loaded - Blaine showing Kurt that he can connect like this, Kurt showing Blaine that he wants to. And god, he wants to. He always wants to. Blaine’s tiny waist and little cronut belly included.

Kurt knows he’s hot. That he’s gotten hot according to the world that judges on the outside. (As far as he’s concerned he was always fabulous, but puberty and exercise seem to have allowed most of the world in on the secret.). But Blaine is a natural born Disney Prince. There is something about him - there’s always been something about him - that is mesmerizing and magnetic and extremely sexy. It was a word he didn’t even fully understand back when they met and Blaine left him breathless and dopey and smiling. But that’s what it was. He makes him just want to be physical, to connect - and that has never really changed. He couldn’t even get through a one evening reunion when they were broken up without jumping him in the backseat of a car. 

"It’s fine, Kurt," Blaine answers, turning his head to the side to look at him. "I know I’m not cover boy material at the moment."

"You are though," Kurt looks at him meaningfully. Kurt really is not into indulging people, but this time Blaine is wrong. And Kurt _is_ into being right.  "Or if you’re not in a given moment, it’s not because of a frozen hot chocolate - though yes, it’s good for both of us to get on to a better and less expensive diet than that." 

"Kurt-" Blaine shakes his head and closes his eyes.

"You know me better than to think I’m remotely into propping up your ego-"

"True," Blaine can’t disagree because Kurt is always the first one to tell him when he’s off the mark, mismatched, chosen the wrong song. "Yeah, I think I fell in love with you right after you told me to stop hogging the spotlight."

"Well I’m glad you appreciate my honesty," Kurt shifts closer to him on the bed, resting his head on Blaine’s shoulder.

"Mmm, I do. Aphrodisiac actually."

"It was never your body, Blaine."

"Hey-" Blaine looks offended, "I’m no Kurt Hummel, but my body wasn’t _that_ bad,” Blaine kids slightly defensively.

"Oh shut up. Your body was perfect. _Is_ perfect,” Kurt sighs in his post sex contentment.  ”Have you seen your arms?” Kurt starts as he traces his index finger along Blaine’s bicep, “Or your strong dancer’s legs?” He hooks a leg over Blaine’s and he feels Blaine shiver. “Or your ass? God your ass-“

"You may have mentioned that once or twice in the last few years," Blaine laughs,  breath shaky, because Kurt is now too close and breathing on him and talking about his body.

"Just once or twice," Kurt teases, running his nose along Blaine’s cheek.

"Kurt, you know that I’m getting a little turned on right now."

"I’m aware," Kurt continues to draw circles on his bicep.

Blaine sighs, “But I don’t actually think I can just yet.”

"Mmmm me neither, unfortunately. I mean I need at least thirty minutes to recover. And the goal of this conversation was not actually to have sex-"

"That’s always the goal."

"That’s true," Kurt nods and they look mischieviously at each other before Kurt looks away and giggles. "Seriously though, even with your perfect body, including _this_ ,” Kurt places his hand flat and open on Blaine’s belly. He feels Blaine wince but then relax, as he places his own hand on top of Kurt’s, holding it there, “It was never _about_ your body. It was what you did with it.”

"Yes, well, I know you like it when I hoist you up and-"

"Blaine," Kurt elbows him, "No not like that. I mean the way you move. The way you touch - Oh I don’t know. You were always so physical. You were like a magnet. Are like a magnet."

Blaine looks at him as he struggles to describe _that thing_ about Blaine. That thing that has had him hooked since they were teens and he was far far more innocent than he is today. Blaine bites down on his lower lip, eyes sparkling but emotional.

"You were sexy to me before I even knew what sexy was."

"You thought Finn was sexy way back when-"

"I didn’t though. That’s the thing. No offence, Finn. I love you," Kurt says out into the abyss, "Finn was the first guy who was kind to me. Sometimes. And he was very handsome. But you were the first one I felt… _you know_ with-“

“ _You know_?”

"You know when you need to catch your breath because that hot guy just got into your space and breathed on your ear that he wants to share a cupid cookie with you? You were the first one where I felt it all over."

 “Me too,” Blaine says. 

"Oh come on. You don’t have to indulge my previously baby penguin-esque self"

"I’m not indulging. You were _adorable_.”

"Adorable isn’t sexy."

"Oh trust me. It can be. And me and my teenage fantasies can prove it."

Kurt nods, “Mmm…I’ll keep that in mind for another day,” Kurt makes a mental note of that one before continuing, ”You are _that guy_ , Blaine. I know the transition to NY and NYADA hasn’t been easy, but if you want to remind yourself, just get up on a stage - you’ll see. What did you tell me Sebastian said he heard about you - _sex on a stick and sings like a dream?_ ”

"Oh god, don’t remind me."

"Well for all his wily ways, he was right about that," Kurt interlaces their fingers still both on his stomach.

"I love you," Blaine says simply.

"I know you do." 

"I still want to feel good about my body, though."

"Me too. That’s why I designed our new healthy regime."

"I hope you know that I intend to ravage you after each and every track practice as a reward for working on my six pack," Blaine teases, rolling slightly over to Kurt.

"That was kind of my goal," Kurt smirks at him as Blaine kicks off the sheet and lets his eyes roam down Kurt’s naked body.

"But for now, knowing you still like my ass will have to do." Blaine climbs on top of him with _that_ face, and _those_ eyes, and those hands now all over his body, and kisses him deeply. 

It’s only been _fifteen_ minutes but he’s responding and flushed and he wants. He knows it’s a little crazy to have sex again right now, but he’s going to. He knows he’s right - Blaine just has that effect on people.

Although Kurt is more of a do-er than a talker, he figures that sometimes it’s worth it to have the conversation.  Because now, with Blaine kissing his way down his body, hands and mouth practiced and sure, he definitely wins.


End file.
